I didn’t know how I was going to face it, how I was going to feel. Somewhere deep down in my being, I must have known. There was hope in my heart, but I couldn’t even watch the election results. A friend was having a watch party and invited me to play cards, Spades. Listen, I knew something had to be amiss in my soul. I rarely turn down an opportunity to play Spades or Bid Whist with friends, talk some smack, and engage in rigorous discourse. Something was not right.
Instead of going to the party, I opted to sit it out and cut myself off from all worldly communication: no social media, network news, phone calls. I did run down to Times Square, Bubba Gump’s, to get some Bang Bang Shrimp and Mac N Cheese for dinner. On the train home, I ran into a neighbor/friend who lives close by but I rarely see- NYC is like that. We talked all the way uptown, then stood outside my building for a good hour chatting and catching up.
When we parted, I headed straight for bed and woke up early, not of my choosing, to again ignore socials and news. Instead, I made some tea and started braiding my hair. In my heart of hearts, I knew. I was putting off the inevitable. I was hoping that America had crossed a divide and the new world was upon us.
Three and a half hours later, I had breakfast and opened my laptop. What was the first thing that popped up? You may have guessed the election results, and you would be correct.
My heart fell into my shoes. I thought, “I must be being pranked,” but in my soul, I knew. Our former republican president has once again won The White House (in no small part due to the votes of a majority of…) Well, let's not get into the blame game. It’s an election: there are winners and losers. This is how Democracy works.
As I searched for more information, I learned that Republicans also had taken control of both houses of Congress. My heart sank a little lower. I decided to close my laptop and continue my plans for the day. I texted a few friends, went to the bank and the grocery store, and made my way back home… to write.
I’m a little numb. I would be lying if I told you that I was confused, or disheartened, or ashamed, or disgusted. I knew! This is how it is. This is how it is going to be for the foreseeable future. I’m no rocket scientist, but when someone shows you who they are, believe them. America has shown me its stripes since I was a kid growing up in the ghettos of a city, at the time, divided by East/West, Black/White, Rich/Poor. This is nothing new for me.
I love to play cards. Did I say that? In cards, you play the hand you are dealt. For better or for worse, you do the best with what you have. You may lament your luck and curse the deck you were dealt, but you do the best you can with what you have. And, win or lose, you don’t quit because the next hand may be the one that puts you over the top, makes you a winner, gives you the title or crown, or bragging rights for the next however long until you play again.
As I write this, I feel myself getting choked up. I haven’t allowed myself the chance to grieve yet. I will grieve, mind you, but I know that we are going to be alright. We are going to turn these lemons into lemonade, keep fighting for the rights of our neighbors and friends, keep calling for civility in our daily lives, keep working, praying, earning, living, dreaming, protesting, achieving, and being.
Yes, we can, and yes, we will. You’ve got this. I’ve got this. We’ve been here before and overcome it. We can and will do it again. I am willing to bet on it.
